


Bingo

by 305unreal



Series: Campus Housing [2]
Category: Gotham (TV), Merlin (TV), Recess (Cartoon), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alma mater, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Dad Jokes, Games, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Nicknames, Riddles, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23708233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/305unreal/pseuds/305unreal
Summary: The roommates play a game to get to know each other better
Relationships: Creativity | Roman Sanders & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Creativity | Roman Sanders & Randal Weems, Jim Gordon & Edward Nygma, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone, Morality | Patton Sanders & Merlin (Merlin), Oswald Cobblepot & Victor Zsasz
Series: Campus Housing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702978
Kudos: 11





	Bingo

**Author's Note:**

> It took a long time to make the bingo cards. Whew!

Patton and Merlin join forces in the kitchen and, soon, the smell of snickerdoodles, ginger snaps, and chocolate chip cookies wafting through the air. While Randall sneaks into the kitchen, Arthur and Roman barge in like everything revolves around them.

“You two made these?” Arthur asks around a mouthful of cookie.

“Merlin made that batch,” Patton smiles. “He’s a natural.”

Arthur moans from the taste again and places a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. He swallows. “You are officially my personal chef. I must have cookies every day.”

Merlin snickers. “Eat cookies every day and you’ll no longer be fighting fit.”

Arthur frowns and looks down at his body. “I am perfectly fit, Cabbagehead.”

Merlin shrugs, snagging a ginger snap. “If you say so, Clotpole.”

“Do we have any coffee made?” Logan asks, walking in and breaking up the banter.

Patton passes him a half-full E=MC Spared coffee mug. There’s an image of a bowling ball and pins to complete the joke.

“I always have a cup of coffee to start a brew-tiful day.”

Logan and Arthur groan at the pun, but Merlin snickers. Patton smiles, and Victor walks in. He starts opening cabinets with a quirked eyebrow remaining on his face.

“Need some help, kiddo?”

“Do we have any fruit?”

Patton turns and pulls out a bowl of complimentary fruit from behind the boxes of pots and pans by the toaster.

“Have you tried a banana? I find it really a-peeling.”

Victor quirks a smile. “Nice one…” He looks at the cardigan loosely tied around the older man’s shoulders. “Dad guy.”

Patton beams. “I like that nickname. It’s much nicer than the ones I usually get.” Backtracking from the awkward silence, he continues. “I know what we need! An icebreaker game!”

As Patton races out the kitchen, Logan cluelessly looks at all the others. “Why does he want us to break ice?”

Upstairs, Patton digs out some game board copies that he made before he left his house. After he grabs a dozen of one copy, he quickly starts corralling the others out of their new rooms. Randall and Roman are watching _Ella Enchanted_ , Virgil and Oswald are discussing emo makeover techniques, and Menlo is organizing his tie collection.

Ed is giving Jim a brain teaser when Patton walks in. “Hello, kiddos. We’re going to play a game downstairs. Care to join us?”

“Sure,” Jim nods. “But first I need to figure out this riddle.”

“Could I have a go?”

Ed grins. “Absolutely. Jim here has been trying to solve this one for,” He checks his watch. “A little over seventeen minutes. A murderer is condemned to death. He must choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?”

Patton tilts his head, contemplating, and he suddenly smiles. “The room with the lions, of course. If they haven’t eaten for three years, there’s no way they would be breathing, and the man would be free.”

Ed grins wider. “Precisely!”

Jim frowns, but he and Ed follow Patton to the lounge. All twelve arrive, and Patton stands with his hands on his hips.

“Now, instead of counters, we’re going to use signatures.”

He pulls handfuls of pens from his pockets and drops them on the table. They’re all unique, and Patton gleefully nabs the cat pen. Once everyone has a pen, he excitedly claps his hands and passes out the game cards.

“Here’s how you play. Everyone is going to write their names at the top of the bingo card. Then, we learn about each other by signing our names on other people’s cards. You can only sign in one box on each card. Any questions?” There are none. “Then, let’s play!”

Logan slides up to their sudden host. “Judging by your choice of pen, am I safe to hypothesize that you prefer cats to dogs?”

“Right-a-rooni, Sherlock.” Patton beams. “Can you write your name on any of mine?”

Logan blushes at being called Sherlock since that’s secretly his favorite literary character. He searches the older boy’s paper and writes his name over ‘has followed directions and built.’ _How simple is that? Surely everyone has built some sort of furniture before._ Patton beams when his card is handed back, but Logan merely blinks and turns to someone else. After ten minutes, Merlin frowns. All he knows about his roommates is Menlo prefers cats to dogs, Arthur watches sports, and Roman is a social media whore. He turns around and nearly barrels into a tall green bean.

“Hello. Could you perhaps find something on here that you could”

Merlin cuts him off by quickly scrawling his name across ‘cats over dogs’. Ed grins shyly and takes Merlin’s card. He writes his name on ‘afraid of mice or snakes’ and hands it back. Randall grins wickedly, thinking about how he could potentially blackmail his roommates in the future with this information. Jim breaks his concentration.

“Hey, can you add your name here?”

Randall nods, adding his name on a square guaranteed to be unavailable for future blackmail: ‘can whistle loudly.’ When he receives his back, Jim wrote his name in the same box. Virgil is acting bitter about the whole thing and stands off to the side. He is commended for this technique, however, and he gains a lot of signatures. Oswald stares back at Victor, reading what he wrote.

“You dance? To what?”

“Disco, mostly.” At Oswald’s nod, he tacks on. “What black and whites do you watch?”

“Mostly _Hitchcock_ and _Dennis the Menace_.”

Victor nods approvingly, and something swells up in Oswald’s chest. Rather than continue the conversation, he raises his card, and the boys return to the game.

“Is anyone the youngest child!?” Logan screams to the group.

He’s ignored. Menlo frowns at his card. _He_ remembers his high school song. He just sang it months ago at graduation. Why did no one else remember?

“I’m done,” Virgil announces, setting his card on the table.

“Aw, don’t give up!” Roman teases him.

“I’m not giving up. I got five in a row. I won, and I’m done.”

Everyone stops, and Patton tells everyone to drop their cards on the table and sit down so he can make sure the card is legit. The boys groan, but they comply. Two minutes pass in relative silence before Patton grins.

“We have a winner: my strange, dark son.”

Virgil blushes but smiles, a sign that he likes the new nickname.

“Now, onto the next part of the game.”

“There’s more!?” Roman cries out in a mix of irritation and excitement.

“Of course! Now, I’ll go over each card so we can learn something about each other. If you wrote your name in the same spot on someone else’s card, I’ll skip you.”

“And you’re going to be able to memorize that?” Logan raises a skeptical eyebrow.

Patton nods. “Yes. I have an eidetic memory, so I always remember everything I see and a lot that I hear.”

“Okay. We have Virgil’s card first. And I’m first on the square. I like cats more than dogs. This is true. I have many cat onesies, and I make cat jokes. I love the little fluffballs. Roman…” His eyes fall on the teenager. “We haven’t met yet, but you came into the kitchen with the Cabbagehead.” Arthur squawks, but Roman and Merlin laugh. “Would you share with us about your Facebook usage?”

Roman shrugs and stands. “Not much to tell. I update my profile pic every week and change my frames based on how I’m feeling. I’ve got so many friends and followers. I am on just about every social media platform because the agents will need to see.”

Patton smiles. “That was great! Arthur, you shop online?”

He looks around and falls questioningly on the Cabbagehead. Arthur nods but doesn’t stand. Instead, he twirls his phone. “I have an iPhone. I see stuff I like, and I buy it.”

Patton chuckles. “Okay, then! Randall, you were sneaking around this morning. You love to hike or walk?”

He nods. “I like the exercise. I didn’t get a lot of recess time or sports growing up.”

Patton frowns. “How terrible.” When Randall only shrugs, the older man pushes the attention elsewhere. “Logan!” He beams. “You have freckles.”

He nods. “You can barely see the ones on my face. Most of them are on my back.” There’s a pause. “I don’t feel comfortable showing anyone, though.”

Patton nods in what seems like understanding. “Ed, you’ve built something from instructions?”

“Yes, I built my entire chemistry station. The workbench and all.”

“Fascinating,” Logan replies at the same time Patton says, “Awesome!”

The man with the cardigan clears his throat and looks over to the tall sociology major. “Victor, how went your blind date?”

He shrugs. “Name said Tab. Agreed to meet at a club called Mooney’s,” He pauses but ultimately ignores Oswald’s gasp. “It was a girl, not a guy. Tab’s short for Tabitha. And her ex-girlfriend decided to show up.”

“Ooh,” Randall winces out of sympathy.

Patton clicks his tongue. “Jim, you can whistle loudly?”

He nods and whistles without warning. Virgil, who had been nodding off, jumps to attention at the unwelcome noise.

“O-kay. Merlin, you love to travel?”

He smiles. “Yeah. My best friend, Will, and I grew up in this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it town. Once we got enough money and we were teenagers, we’d start sneaking off and traveling farther and farther from home. This campus is farthest I’ve gone yet.”

“That sounds like fun,” Patton grins as well. “Menlo, you hate to watch the news?”

He nods, adjusting his glasses. “There’s usually only bad stuff. And even when there’s good stuff, something in my mind tweaks it and I only think about the bad stuff. I-I have anxiety. Clinically diagnosed.”

Patton frowns. “Oswald, you hate liver and onions?”

He nods. “It is a disgrace to Hungarian and American dishes alike.”

“Well, alright then! Now, we move onto _my_ card.”

“Merlin? You prefer cats over dogs.”

He nods slowly, easygoing grin faltering. “Yeah. Remember I said we went on adventures? There was one time… well, there were guard dogs, and I didn’t have the time to react. And it jumped at Will, and it was,”

Patton is at Merlin’s side, consolingly rubbing his back. “It’s okay, Merls. You don’t need to tell us if you don’t want to.”

He sniffles. “It’s okay. Um, the dog attacked Will, and I didn’t recognize myself, but I had to _do_ something, you know? And,” His breath hitches and he shakes his head.

Patton nods but keeps rubbing circles along his back. “Okay. Let’s step away from this topic. Jim, you love sports?”

“Hell yeah,” He grins. “Jersey Devils and the Camden Riversharks all the way.”

“Screw your Riversharks,” Arthur scoffs. “Of all ALPB teams, the Bridgeport Bluefish will kick your ass.”

Patton shrugs. “Ed, you like Coke more than Pepsi?”

He nods. “Pepsi’s too sweet.”

Logan nods in appreciation. “Finally, someone else sees it.”

Patton purses his lips. He rather likes Pepsi _for_ the sweetness. “Logan! What have you followed directions and”

“Most recently, I built the bookcase currently sitting in my new room.”

“Busy beaver.”

Logan blinks. “I’m not very busy as we play”

“I believe it’s an expression.” Menlo comments.

“Ah, okay.”

“Victor! You’ve caught a fish?”

“Stabbed it.”

“O… kay. Virgil, you hate to watch the news, buddy?”

He shrugs, throwing a hand up to gesture at himself. “Anxiety.”

Patton places a hand over his heart in sympathy. “Well, now it’s time to have a looksie at Lolo’s card!”

Logan frowns at the nickname, but he does not do anything to dissuade Patton from calling him that. Patton scans the card for a name in a new spot.

“Roman decorates for the holidays.”

He grins and stands up. “Aw, yeah. We do _Pocahontas_ for Thanksgiving. _Tangled_ and _Alice in Wonderland_ in the spring. We have got a truckload at Christmas, but my favorite is Halloween. I dress as a different character every day of October. Then, we have got the music, the movies, the food! The candy. The trick-or-treating. The corn mazes, haunted houses. Carnivals! Halloween is the best time of the year!”

“I am with you, my friend,” Oswald nods. “My mother and I always decorate our shabby little house and play music on the piano. I watch the silly cartoons with her and then go out terrorizing the neighborhood with Butch.”

“Personally, my favorite is Christmas,” Patton jumps in. “But I love Halloween as well. Arthur, you love hiking?”

He nods. “Back home, I have a mare named Llamrei. We go on hikes and walks often.”

Patton tilts his head. “That sounds nice. Jim, you’ve gone on a blind date?”

“Yeah… my friend Harv set me up. Said I would be meeting a tall blonde girl wearing a pink carnation. And it was my ex, Barbara. He was trying to set us up again. Did not end well.”

“That’s terrible, Jim,” Oswald sighs.

Jim shrugs. Patton claps his hands.

“And now we move onto Merlin’s card. Menlo, you also prefer cats to dogs?”

He nods. “They’re really calming.”

“Yes, they are. Arthur, you watch sports?”

He nods. “Mostly baseball, hockey, and football. I’m on the rugby team, though.”

“That is an awful rough sport, kiddo. Did you play it in high school as well?”

Arthur shrugs. “I played senior year. And I’ve been on the campus team for the past two years.”

“Well, so long as you’re safe.” Patton sighs. “I don’t like my kiddos running amuck and injuring themselves.” No one comments that he is not their dad. A few boys, Arthur included, smile at the sentiment. “Moving on, never swearing. I know we are all adults here, but I will reprimand your language. I do not like using strong language, and you will likely never hear me say something vulgar. Hmm… Virgil, you garden?”

The boy in purple and black nods. “It’s nothing big. Just stuff that keeps me relaxed.” When Randall’s eyes widen at the implication, Virgil hastily adds on. “It’s nothing illegal. I have passionflower, chamomile, basil, and mint.”

Patton heaves a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear, son. Ed, you hate mice or snakes?”

“Mice. They carry disease. Filthy, filthy creatures.”

Patton hums in response.

“Let’s go to Arthur’s card! Oswald, you still watch black and whites?”

“It helps that we’ve still got a black and white TV. It’s an old box, but it hasn’t let us down yet. We watch _Bewitched_ and _Menace_ and _Hitchcock_.”

“Those are some interesting choices, my dark little mastermind.” Patton smiles, and Oswald feels a warmth in his chest at the older man’s words. “Menlo, you still know your high school song?”

He stands and begins marching in place.

“Far beyond the forest greens

‘neath the clear blue sky.

Grandly stands our alma mater

Banners flying high.

Bound with strength and steadfast fury,

Eagles never fail

We will honor thee forever,

Third Street high, all hail!”

Patton starts clapping, and a few others join in. Menlo grins at the applause and bows.

“Victor, you also dislike the news?”

He nods. “They’re always going on about cops or disease. Who cares about that?”

“… thank you for that contribution, my little acrobat. Ed, you like to dance?”

Victor blinks at being called an acrobat, but he realizes it’s a fitting nickname, and he smiles. Ed twiddles his thumbs.

“I enjoy dancing when I’m on my own. Despite what we’re sharing here, I don’t believe you’ve shared enough to warrant my dancing.”

“That is completely understandable, kiddo.”

Ed dislikes being treated like a child, but somehow when Patton says it, he feels better.

“And… now we have Menlo’s card. Roman, you sing in the shower, buddy?”

He nods. “Mostly Disney. There’s a lot of good songs that go better with the shower’s echo. Like “Just Around the Riverbend,” “Reflections,” and “Part of Your World.” But “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is one of my favorites.”

“I can’t wait to hear you sing it, my little prince. Lolo, you caught a fishy?”

He ducks out of embarrassment. “Yeah… it was a boy scouts thing.”

“You were a boy scout?” Jim asks.

“For a year and a half. I bunt down a cabin, not important. But I did catch a fish when everyone else took out slingshots and archery bows. My aim and my balance, it’s not great.”

“I could teach you!” Patton exclaims, ignoring the burnt cabin comment. “I’m a member of the archery club on campus! Please consider it!”

“I don’t- I, okay.”

“Now, then. We’ve got Ed’s card!” He skims over the card, searching for a name in a new spot. “My little acrobat shops online?”

“I do,” Victor nods along. “Once I get into the school year, I get busy and I forget to get food or clothes, so I shop online.”

The group nods in understanding, but Victor catches Oswald’s eye. The older man glares at him slightly as if to say he doesn’t believe his story. They play a staring contest of sorts while Patton continues searching for another unrepeated name.

“Ah, Arthur! You love to travel as well?”

“Yes,” He puffs his chest. “Just over the summer, Father took Morgana and me to France.”

Patton’s eyes twinkle. “Oh, I would love to see pictures, my little warrior!”

He blushes at the pet name. “Of course.”

Patton beams and picks up the next card.

“Randall, I’ve got yours now, my little iguana.” Randall blinks and smiles at the strange yet endearing nickname. “Hmm… the only new one here is for Oswald, but he already shared his love of decorating for the holidays.”

He sighs slightly and picks up another card.

“Let’s look at Jim’s card. Why _there’s_ Randall. Do you whistle loudly?”

He nods. “Cover your ears.”

All eleven boys cover their ears in time for Randall to put his index and middle finger into the gum pocket of his mouth. He inhales and lets out an earsplitting screech of a whistle. Outside, a car alarm is heard going off. Oswald and Victor have ceased their staring contest and are now startled. Patton’s eyes are wide, and Randall’s eyes fall downcast.

“Randall,” He gasps.

“Yeah, I know,” He kicks at the floor. “If I do that again, ears will bleed.”

No one hears the last thing he says since it’s overshadowed by Patton’s overjoyed words. “I am so proud of you. Do you know how important it is to be able to whistle that loud? Do you know how dangerous it can get on a college campus when you are alone?” he walks over and envelops the smaller boy in a hug. “I am so proud of you, kiddo.”

Randall is shocked at the affection, but he remains in Patton’s grasp until the latter steps away and adjusts his glasses. He picks up another card.

“Let us see Victor’s card. Oh, Roman, this is new. You also have freckles?”

He nods shrugging his shirt sleeve down. “They’re on my shoulders. You never see them unless I’m showing off my guns.”

“You have no guns,” Oswald scoffs.

“We’re not supposed to have guns on campus,” Logan interjects.

“They’re talking muscles,” Merlin informs him.

“Ah, metaphor,” Logan nods. “I detest them.”

“Arthur, do you not like mice or snakes?”

He flinches. “Snakes are no good creatures.”

Patton places a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. “I’ll protect you, my warrior son.”

Arthur blushes, and Patton picks up the next card.

“I’ve got Roman’s card now. Lolo, you signed under mice or snakes.”

“As many of the genes responsible for complex diseases, such as atherosclerosis and hypertension, are shared between mice and humans, they can be extremely useful for studying purposes. Likewise, snakes are extremely valuable because they are efficient at keeping the number of rodents and insects in check, without relying on damaging chemical pesticides which can degrade the environment and harm other animal species.” Logan takes in a deep breath. “Being said, mice and snakes are just…”

“Spooky tingling death machines,” Patton interjects in a serious voice.

He shakes his head and grabs the final card. “Oh, Little Mastermind, I see you got signature from everyone. I’m sorry you were unable to form a bingo.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Oswald brushes it off.

Patton blinks and turns to read the card. “Ooh, we’ve got two more newcomers to end the game! Virgil, my son, you dislike liver and onions?”

“Yeah,” He shudders. “Do you cook?”

Patton looks up in surprise. He’s begun stacking up the cards, and he’s walked to a cabinet to put them away. “Oh, I _love_ to cook, Virgil.”

“I’m banned from the kitchen!” Roman pipes up excitedly.

Patton smiles and brings out a boombox from the same cabinet. “Last box. Victor, you like to dance?”

“Yep.”

“You look like a disco man.”

He grins with a little shrug. “Guilty.”

Patton turns the boombox on and presses ‘play’. _Car Wash_ comes over the speakers. Merlin and Patton start singing along, and Victor shows everyone his dance moves.

**Author's Note:**

> Recap:  
> Patton prefers cats over dogs and never swears.  
> Merlin prefers cats over dogs and loves travel.  
> Menlo prefers cats over dogs, remembers his alma mater, and hates to watch the news.  
> Jim loves to watch sports, went on a blind date, and can whistle loudly.  
> Arthur loves to watch sports, shops online, likes to hike and walk with his horse, loves traveling, and hates snakes.  
> Roman checks Facebook daily, sings in the shower, shops online, decorates for the holidays and has freckles.  
> Victor shops online, went on a blind date, caught a fish, hates to watch the news, and likes to dance.  
> Virgil likes gardening but hates to watch the news and eat liver and onions.  
> Ed prefers Coke over Pepsi, built something with directions, hates snakes, and likes to dance alone.  
> Logan prefers Coke over Pepsi, has freckles, built something with directions, hates mice and snakes, and caught a fish.  
> Oswald decorates for the holidays, watches black and white television, and hates liver and onions.  
> Randall likes to hike and walk and can whistle loudly.


End file.
